may 2021 updates

its may. ive moved to an apartment out of my childhood family home for the first time. how terrifying! im trying to survive. i have my little cat with me. she is my emotional support animal. we have been living together for a year.
i am working on a screenplay for a movie that i will also be directing. its my first venture into something as big as i am planning. i want to make it a good experience, and i want it to be fun to watch. i hope that i can get a good cast for it, and that i can spend time with each person working on it with me. i want to spend time on rehearsal once i have made the script well and done.
as for the story of the movie itself, i am inspired by a few different medias and i still want to continue to do more research into more things for inspiration and guidance. i am going to be borrowing books about cinematography and storyboarding for film which i think will be great help for me since i am going to storyboard the entire movie before shooting, and at the moment i have little practical knowledge on film production in that aspect..
the movie is going to be an fantasy romantic adventure drama, with a plot focusing on the developing relationship of two strangers travelling together. the main character has ulterior motives but changes their mind as they grow closer to the other character and fall in love. since i know that the cast will be teenager-aged, i am going to make the characters teenager-aged to feel more realistic.. i am looking forward to breaking down the three acts that i have outlined so far and writing them, but i am not very experienced in actual scriptwriting and i think it will take some time. my goal is to finish the first draft of the screenplay within the next month and then i'm going to ask a few trusted friends to read it and give feedback for revisions. i think there might be a lot of revisions with the whole thing. i actually still need to do revisions on the outline but i havent had access to my drafts for the past few days since i was moving.
its been hard to find collaborators who are available with the same energy levels for this project as me, which is understandable since it definitely feels like a major personal project that needs a lot of investment.
another thing that has been going on is that im still technically in classes and i should be working on my studying before i really work on my screenplay. i have been exhausted lately and i havent taken my medication for my brain illnesses in two days because i am not very responsible. i know i should take them because i am feeling fatigue and i know that they help immensely with my mental illnesses and also whenever i forget to take them one of my best friends is very cross with me.
im going to talk quite a bit about my college studies here to keep myself invested and motivated in the material- it helps when i talk about it anywhere and blog my experiences and thoughts about the material im studying. its definitely not boring stuff by any means. my main problem nowadays is that the classes are all online, as we are still in may 2021 and the in-person on ground classes are set to start next semester. i have already enrolled myself and i am looking forward to going to campus for those and meeting people and teachers and sitting places. oh my god my back hurts
ok, ive gotten up and applied a pain patch, taken my meds (despite the time of day being the afternoon and not the night time), convinced my kitty to eat some of her food, and gotten water. what a wonderful change. pain patches really are my saviors. im also wearing my glasses, which helps with eye strain and headaches and leaning forward to see my screen and all that.
my cat is named mercie, she is quite wonderful and i think of her as a baby with fur. i respect her a lot and i try to keep my place very good and clean for her. im very lucky to have enough money and resources to afford good cat furniture for her, and im really glad that we have this apartment now instead of my previous living space (a garage). she is really a good loving cat and i think she is also very good at her job of being an ESA. when i first adopted her, she was very timid but still very curious and loving towards me, and she settled in comfortably really quickly. i was amazed at how happy she was even on the first night to have a bed to stretch out on. she also really likes pets and purrs a lot about nearly everything....
i think shes very smart too and she is very playful and likes running around and chasing things. we usually have spent many times going outside on walks since i leash-trained her, but now that we live in an apartment and the streets outside are not very cat-friendly i think it will be more of a special occasion to take her out on walks. i think ill look for hiking trails i can take her to with friends. she's mostly very terrified of strangers and runs away as soon as she sees a human who isnt me when we are outside, so it's a struggle. ill try to have lots of things in this apartment for her to be interested in sniffing. maybe some clippings of the jasmine flower bush i have at home? or some tea packets, i know those are interesting to sniff..
for school, i have been floating around different ideas of what to study a lot, but right now im planning on taking sociology classes and getting into all of that.. its definitely not something i thought i would be doing when i was in high school and 100% set on going to a private art college, but things are different now. ive been advised not to spend too much time and energy thinking about my future career plans, and just focus on the here and now of the short term plans and efforts with my classes im in. i think that will help me, honestly, but it sure is hard to follow reasonable and responsible advice for some reason..
by the way, while ive been typing all of this ive been listening in the background to one of my favorite singers archived streams. here she is:
her name is machita chima and she is a vtuber in japan. i love her voice so much, she mostly does singing streams but i barely get to attend them live since theyre early in the day and im usually asleep then. but theyre all archived so i just listen to them a few hours later. she has a very silly and positive personality and i like her sense of humor and her song choices too.
ill start on my videos to watch for my art history class soon, but that would mean i would have to stop listening to the singing, so i think ill spend some time now doing my discussion post assignments for my career counseling class and then when im done with that ill do the art history videos and take notes on another page here.
i am really hoping to have an actual chair in this apartment soon. i have been sitting on a foldable piano bench this whole time, so there is nothing to lean back on and it has really no support for my poor spine.
i also hope that soon i can get more furniture in general in here and put up my decorations. maybe some can go up today? im trying not to do everything at once, but i dont want there to be moving boxes everywhere for too long because i think it will really energise me to have a nice environment in here. mercie's cat trees should arrive within two weeks and i think they will add a lot of loveliness to the place.
later today im going to cook some noodles and broccoli for myself and maybe have a yogurt and a dessert for myself and hopefully that will be enough calories. i havent been getting enough food in my system since cooking has been harder? i dont have my favorite pan here with me yet and i havent stocked up on enough foodstuffs. calories are really important for my energy, since theyre, theyre calories , .. ok. yeah.


lets go back home
rem! hope youre doing well